"No, you can't have cookies for breakfast." - "Why?"
"Because we don't eat cookies at breakfast time."  - "Why?"
"Because cookies aren't breakfast food." - Why?"

Yes, that was a real conversation I had many years ago with my nephew when he was 2 years old.

But it's also a question that coaches will ask (and should), over and over again. Question number one:

"Why are you telling this story?"

The first response is usually, and hopefully, "Because I love it." This is a good start. My first rule of storytelling, and what most seasoned tellers will share with you is that you MUST "Tell stories you love!" So, if this is your answer, then you are on your way...but wait, there's more.

"Why do you love it?

"I love the way Goldilocks is different in this version. I try to make her less of a criminal when she goes into the Bears' house. I love the way I have changed the ending and Goldilocks stays with the Bear family."

Great! You are clear about the things in this story that you love. Knowing what draws YOU to this story is the first step, and is crucial in the process. Now, on to the next "Why?", just a bit deeper:

"Why are these things different in your version? Why are these things important to you?

"Because I can relate to Goldilocks. When I was younger, I didn't feel like I belonged in my family. I wanted to have a different family; one where I felt like I fit; one that was warm and loving; and one where everyone responded with love, instead of anger. 

Excellent! You have identified the essence of the story for you; what the story is about. Knowing and understanding this part is very important...partly because it takes you to the next "Why?"

"Why will OTHER people love it?"

"Because it's about wanting something different and good in your life; the desire for love. It's about wanting closeness and loving connections."

Aye, there's the rub! These are universal feelings, and that's what we are looking for in a story! Just because YOU love it is not enough. Other people must be able to relate to the story in some way, otherwise you will lose them part way through the tale. If they can't relate, they won't listen. But touching on universal feelings and emotions is one of the keys to a great story.

The process continues, in a good coaching session, or in your own crafting; what's the answer to all the whys?

Why does Goldilocks want a different life and family?
Why does the Bear family look better to her?"
Why does she "break into" their house?
Why does she do the things she does; eat the porridge; sit in the chair; lie on the bed?
Why aren't the bears angry when they discover the damage that has been done?
     Or if they are angry, why don't they show it the way Goldilocks' family did?
Why do these actions connect with the essence of the story?

If you and your story answer these questions, then you have a great tale that YOU love and the AUDIENCE will love.

So when you are crafting your story, remember that annoying little kid who keeps asking "Why?" - Then be that kid!
 

P.S. Thanks to Mark Compton for reminding me of this and for a great conversation!